Dancing with the Abyss and Finding Meaning in the Chaos

 

Existential dread creeps in like a shadow at the edges of our consciousness, whispering questions we aren’t sure we want the answers to. What is the meaning of life? What happens when we die? Does anything we do truly matter? This deep and unsettling awareness of mortality, meaninglessness, and the vast unknown is an inevitable part of being human. Some may find ways to quiet these thoughts, burying themselves in work, relationships, or distractions, while others find themselves paralyzed by them.

Existential dread is not simply a fleeting discomfort but a profound psychological experience that can shape our mental well-being, influence our behaviors, and alter the way we engage with the world. Understanding where it comes from and how to navigate it can be the difference between being consumed by the void and learning to dance with it.

The Psychological Roots of Existential Dread

At its core, existential dread is fueled by several fundamental fears—death, meaninglessness, isolation, absolute freedom, purpose, and the unknown. These fears are deeply ingrained in our consciousness, woven into the very fabric of human experience.

• Fear of Death (Mortality Salience)

  • The awareness of death is like a ticking clock in the background of our lives. Even when we aren’t actively thinking about it, it shapes our decisions, from the mundane to the monumental.
  • Terror Management Theory (TMT) suggests that much of human culture, belief systems, and personal achievements exist as a defense against this fear. When reminded of our mortality, we tend to cling more tightly to our worldviews, seeking comfort in religion, nationalism, or even material success (Greenberg et al., 1986). Like a ship battered by a storm, we anchor ourselves to things that make us feel like we are more than just temporary flickers in the cosmic wind.
  • Studies show that people who lack strong coping mechanisms for death awareness are more prone to existential depression, feeling detached, hopeless, and purposeless (Menzies et al., 2018).

• Fear of Meaninglessness

  • Imagine spending years building a sandcastle, only to have the tide wash it away. The fear that everything we do is ultimately erased by time can be paralyzing.
  • Viktor Frankl (1963) argued that meaning is not found but created. He observed that even in the horrors of concentration camps, those who could assign meaning to their suffering—whether through faith, relationships, or a sense of duty—were more likely to survive.
  • Research suggests that people who struggle to construct meaning experience higher rates of anxiety, depression, and self-destructive behaviors (Heisel & Flett, 2014).

• Fear of Isolation

  • No matter how many people we surround ourselves with, we ultimately experience life alone. No one else can fully inhabit our thoughts, feel what we feel, or see the world through our eyes.
  • Existential isolation refers to this unique form of loneliness, which can be unsettling even for the most socially connected individuals (Pinel et al., 2017).
  • People who struggle with existential isolation often experience higher levels of social anxiety, finding it difficult to form meaningful relationships (Van Tilburg et al., 2018).

• Fear of Absolute Freedom and Responsibility

  • Freedom is a double-edged sword. On one hand, we crave the ability to shape our own destinies; on the other, the responsibility of doing so can be terrifying.
  • Sartre (1943) described this as “existential anxiety.” Given limitless choices, we are burdened with the fear of making the wrong ones. It is the overwhelming feeling of standing at a crossroads with infinite paths stretching before us, knowing we can only choose one.

• Fear of Purpose (or Lack Thereof)

  • Some people fear meaninglessness, while others fear having a purpose and failing to fulfill it. The idea that we are meant for something—something important, something specific—can be paralyzing.
  • Existential procrastination occurs when individuals delay major life decisions out of fear that they might choose incorrectly. This is especially common in cultures that emphasize achievement, leading people to feel they must identify a singular, perfect calling (Burrow & Hill, 2011).

• Fear of What Comes After (The Unknown)

  • The unknown is a vast, dark ocean, and the fear of what lies beneath the surface can be more terrifying than the certainty of drowning.
  • The human brain craves certainty, and nothing is more uncertain than what happens after death. Whether one believes in an afterlife, reincarnation, or absolute nothingness, the simple fact remains—no one knows. This ambiguity can be deeply unsettling (Heflick & Goldenberg, 2012).
  • Neuroscientific research has shown that uncertainty triggers a stronger fear response in the brain than a known negative outcome (Hirsh et al., 2012), suggesting that the ambiguity of death is often more distressing than the concept of death itself.

Why Humans See Themselves as the Center of the Universe

Though existential dread often stems from realizing our insignificance in the cosmos, we are hardwired to see ourselves as central and important. This tendency is shaped by:

• Evolutionary Survival Mechanisms – Early humans who prioritized their own needs, safety, and reproduction had a greater chance of passing on their genes. Self-preservation was essential for survival, leading to a natural egocentric bias that continues today.
• Cognitive Biases – The anthropic principle, optimism bias, and illusion of control reinforce the belief that humans hold a unique position in the universe.
• Cultural and Religious Reinforcement – Many religions and philosophies place humans at the center of cosmic narratives, further instilling the belief in human exceptionalism.
• The Development of Self-Identity – As children, we see the world solely from our own perspective. Even as adults, this sense of personal centrality persists (Piaget, 1954).

While this perspective can appear egocentric or even narcissistic, it is not necessarily pathological. It is a necessary cognitive function that allows humans to develop confidence, ambition, and motivation. However, unchecked self-importance can manifest as narcissistic personality traits, leading individuals to believe the world exists to serve them rather than recognizing themselves as part of a greater whole.

Finding Strength in the Unknown

Existential dread is not a problem to be solved but an experience to be understood. It is the silent companion that walks beside us, a reminder that life is fleeting but also full of potential. It is the same force that has driven humans to build civilizations, create art, and seek understanding. While the weight of these questions can feel overwhelming, they also offer an opportunity to shape a life filled with meaning, connection, and purpose.

Instead of viewing existential dread as a crisis, individuals can reframe it as an invitation to live with greater intention, embracing the mystery of life rather than fearing it. After all, if the universe doesn’t assign us a purpose, we have the incredible freedom to create one ourselves.

References

Burrow, A. L., & Hill, P. L. (2011). Purpose as a form of identity capital for positive youth adjustment. Developmental Psychology, 47(4), 1196-1206.

Frankl, V. E. (1963). Man’s search for meaning. Beacon Press.

Greenberg, J., Pyszczynski, T., & Solomon, S. (1986). The causes and consequences of a need for self-esteem: A Terror Management Theory. Public Opinion Quarterly, 50(1), 142-153.

Heisel, M. J., & Flett, G. L. (2014). Purpose in life, satisfaction with life, and suicide ideation in older adults. Suicidology Online, 5, 34-49.

Heflick, N. A., & Goldenberg, J. L. (2012). Death awareness and meaning. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 102(4), 735-752.

Hirsh, J. B., Mar, R. A., & Peterson, J. B. (2012). Psychological entropy: A framework for understanding uncertainty-related anxiety. Psychological Review, 119(2), 304-320.