{Humor} A Battle Royal In my Brain: Self-Doubt vs Self-Confidence

Self-doubt and self-confidence seem to exist as two permanent tenants in my mind, much like Tom and Jerry—eternally at odds yet unable to function without each other. They operate like rival reality TV stars, throwing jabs, vying for control, and relentlessly staging dramatic face-offs as I attempt to make it through the day. While I would prefer a morning that includes nothing more complex than a decent cup of coffee, these two mental giants often have other plans.

Morning: The Battle Begins

Every day starts with a familiar routine. I rise from my bed, and Self-Confidence (hereafter referred to as "Confy") is the first to stir. Confy stretches and flexes, exuding the kind of "you got this" energy that could make anyone believe they're unstoppable. In the reflection of the bathroom mirror, I’m momentarily transformed into a superhero, ready to tackle the day with the enthusiasm of someone who has yet to check their overflowing email inbox.

But then, Self-Doubt (hereafter referred to as "Doubty") slinks in like an uninvited guest at a party, questioning every move. "That shirt looks like you stole it from a pineapple," Doubty mutters, as if I have somehow managed to ruin my entire day before it has even started. Just like that, my superhero cape begins to feel more like a weighted blanket—comforting, but not exactly confidence-boosting.

Late Morning: Enter the Coping Skills

This is when I bring in the heavy hitters: my coping skills. Think of them as the Avengers of mental health, complete with deep breaths, positive affirmations, and a mindfulness practice so solid it could teach Yoda a thing or two. With these tools, I quiet the incessant muttering of Doubty, who throws its hands up in surrender, retreating back to wherever doubtful thoughts go to sulk.

Confy takes this opportunity to step forward, ready to take charge. It pats me on the back like a coach at halftime, telling me I’ve got this. I believe it, too—until lunchtime, when things take another comical turn.

Afternoon: The Lunchroom Showdown

Lunchtime arrives, and I’m faced with a monumental decision: salad or burger. Confy, ever the optimist, encourages me to follow my cravings—"You’re a grown adult; you can eat whatever you want!" But Doubty, having licked its wounds, jumps back into the fray. "Remember last time you ate a burger? You got sleepy. And remember that meeting where you mispronounced the boss’s name? Yeah, that’s what happens when you eat burgers."

At this point, I’m almost convinced that my dietary choices are a direct path to my own personal downfall. However, I decide to go with the burger anyway (because burgers, honestly). Naturally, I spill some ketchup on my shirt. Doubty gleefully declares victory. "See! I knew it!" Doubty says, as if it has just won some sort of mental lottery. But Confy brushes off the incident with a casual "No big deal, we’ll just wash it off," and I go about the rest of my day with the confidence of someone who has just dodged a mental bullet.

Late Afternoon: The Plot Thickens

The afternoon passes, and I’m feeling good—until Doubty pulls out the big guns: high school memories. It’s like that scene in a horror movie where the killer pops back up in the final act. Suddenly, I’m reliving that moment from sophomore year when I blanked during a presentation, and Doubty is reveling in my discomfort. "What if you mess up again? What if you say something ridiculous in the next meeting? Remember how you completely bombed that speech?"

But this time, I’ve got a secret weapon: my well-worn coping skills. I grab onto a positive thought, something like, "I’ve survived worse," and pull myself out of the mental quicksand. Confy is there again, patting me on the back, reassuring me with, "You’re learning! You’ve got this!" The rest of the day unfolds without further incident—though I do give a side-eye to my brain for trying to derail me with a high school flashback. Come on, brain, we’ve moved past this, haven’t we?

Evening: The Final Countdown

By the end of the day, I find myself reflecting on this endless cycle of doubt and confidence. Every time Doubty tries to take over, my coping skills step in and push it back. These small victories are building new neural pathways—like laying down fresh pavement over a bumpy old road. Each time, those negative thoughts become less frequent, while positive self-talk takes the lead.

Sure, tomorrow, Doubty will show up again, throwing shade like a reality TV star with an axe to grind. But now, I’m equipped with Confy and my trusty coping skills, ready to push back, build new paths, and keep myself moving forward.

It’s like a never-ending battle royale in my brain, and I’ve got front-row seats. Thankfully, with a little humor and a lot of perseverance, I’m confident (well, mostly) that I’m winning—one positive thought at a time.

References

No references were used in the creation of this anecdotal, highly humorous blog. But I’d like to thank my mental health coping skills for being the MVPs.